This is the little story that didn’t go away.
So: a way long time ago, circa 1979, when I was a student at the University of Texas, I was seeing a girl named Susan, who had a roommate whose name I forget, who had a boyfriend whose name I forget. The boyfriend was a volunteer with a wildlife rescue organization, and he took care of injured and orphaned birds—primarily raptors. He’d come in and out carrying these birds around—a red-tailed hawk, a golden eagle. One day he had the eagle sitting on a tether in the backyard, and the eagle killed an old lady’s cat that chose the wrong time to wander by. I was totally pissed off—said that I’d kill the eagle if it killed my cat.
That’s the origin of the story. Bad eagle kills good cat. I carried the idea around with me for years, and then when I was writing my MA thesis I pulled it out and tried to do something with it. The end result was the basic draft of “Wildlife Rehabilitation.”
Where I live in Texas the hills level out and rise into the plains and the sky opens up to swallow everything. In the fall and winter fronts blow through, cold dark clouds and wind rattling the brush and pushing birds down from the north—most notably, great numbers of hawks and eagles. When I was a young man, people hated those birds. It was not an uncommon thing to see dead eagles and hawks strung up on fenceposts along our roads, shot dead and left to rot, a warning to all other varmints. Crows and buzzards would drift by and pick at the carcasses, and most of the dead birds' feathers would float off into the brush, and finally, after a few months, by summertime, all you'd have left to see would be maybe a skeleton with one wing and a head, hanging there from a clawed foot like a grim vision of the future that awaits us all. It was something to see, all the dead birds hanging from fenceposts, but it's not so common anymore. In fact, it's not something I had seen in years, or even thought of, until my cat—his name was Festus—was killed by my neighbor’s golden eagle.
And no one liked it. My fellow writers in workshop were dissatisfied with the ending and with what they saw as the sentimentality the story as a whole, and my thesis director thought the ending was absolutely dreadful. He thought the story sucked too much to go into my thesis, and it didn’t. I kept working on it, though, adding more and more, making it increasingly complicated and dense—one version actually cracks 50 pages, and has fun and weird scenes of drugs and sex and arson and kidnapping. I came up with at least four different endings. And I didn’t like any of the changes.
But I still believed in the basic story—no kidding, I liked it! I thought there was something there!—and I submitted it to a few journals, and was rejected, and then I presented it at the Western Literature Association conference in 2007. Twister Marquiss of Southwestern American Literature was there, and he liked it a lot, and offered to publish it, and so about a year later it came out. Other people liked it, too. “Wildlife Rehabilitation” was later chosen as an honorable mention for the anthology Best of the West, edited by Seth Horton.
So, in the end, with a lot of help, this story found an audience….
A couple of weeks ago I visited San Quentin State Prison in California. The trip was sponsored by the National Endowment for the Arts, bringing teachers from federal prisons across the US (four of us) out to California to teach workshops with teachers in California state prisons.
At San Quentin, the little arts classroom faced a large courtyard fenced-up into small enclosures—these were areas where death row inmates and inmates segregated because of their violent tendencies would exercise. The fences in each area are covered in canvas so that no one can see out or in, and there is a catwalk for the guards running over the exercise area, and over that, an aluminum roof. (The roof has a number of large holes in it—an inmate explained to me that they were from warning shots fired by guards). The sides are open, though, and vast numbers of birds flew in and out of the area. I was entranced—the birds were amazing, fluttering around, chirping, singing.
I thought of a poem by Isaac Rosenberg.
Returning, We Hear the Larks
Sombre the night is. And though we have our lives, we know What sinister threat lies there.
Dragging these anguished limbs, we only know This poison-blasted track opens on our camp - On a little safe sleep.
But hark! joy - joy - strange joy. Lo! heights of night ringing with unseen larks. Music showering our upturned list’ning faces.
Death could drop from the dark As easily as song - But song only dropped, Like a blind man’s dreams on the sand By dangerous tides, Like a girl’s dark hair for she dreams no ruin lies there, Or her kisses where a serpent hides.
The situations of this poem from the Great War and the reality I witnessed at San Quentin are vast, of course. Yet for me there was that same unexpected intrusion of natural beauty into human desolation, jarring and intoxicating. But song only dropped….
An inmate pointed out that many of the birds only had one foot. The missing feet are damaged, supposedly, when the birds perch on the razor wire. I assume they get by hopping around on one foot until it too gets sliced up, and then they die.
**
Note on birds: I saw crows, song sparrows, some sort of tern, and some unknown little dark things that were chirping madly. I emailed the Marin County Audubon Society to see what kind of birds might be hanging around San Quentin this time of year, but they have not yet responded.
Note on photos: We weren’t allowed to bring cameras in, so the only photos I took were from outside the prison—a shot of the wire and a guard tower, above, and a shot of the bay looking out from the prison, below. The physical location of San Quentin is incredibly beautiful.
 When I completed my story collection, Long Time Ago Good, the publisher generously allowed me to have a lot of input of the design and look of the book, including the cover. When he asked for suggestions, I looked around my favorite photo archives, searching for Texas photos, and I found several shots I liked at the Library of Congress/NARA site, including the photo to the left.
It’s an aerial shot of the Lakeway resort development west of Austin, on the shores of Lake Travis, as it looked when under construction. Taken around 1971, the photo shows paths that have been bulldozed through the cedars, paths that would become streets.
I thought—think—it a wonderful photograph that fits with the overall tone of the book, especially the Hemingway epigraph, “Long time ago good. Now no good.”
The publisher didn’t think so. “Nobody will know what that is,” he said.
I pointed out that it also sort of looked like a computer chip. That’s pretty cool, right?
The publisher still didn’t like it.
So I went to cover photo number two, which came from the same series of Texas photos. Showing an unfortunate armadillo under attack by a dog, it also visually depicts the theme of the book.
The armadillo was the symbol of old Austin. Old Austin is gone, torn to pieces and gone elsewhere, and transformed into something…new….
I cropped the photo down to make the cover, of course. Here’s the original shot: Omitting the guy holding the armadillo makes a difference. The photo itself is violent; showing the guy expands the violence to include cruelty. But perhaps that would have been more thematically appropriate? Don’t know. The dillo, dog, and guy are all certainly dead by now, and the old city is gone, but they all still make me think.
Coming soon: the forgotten photographer who made these images…..
Did a reading last night at The Twig Book Shop in San Antonio. Had a small but enthusiastic audience who enjoyed Chapter 11 of That Demon Life--but what really struck me was the kindness and friendliness of The Twig's staff--it's the nicest bookstore in Texas--no kidding.
I was also struck by the seemingly vast numbers of vultures that were perched on light poles overlooking I-35. I hope this isn't an indcation of an equally vast carnage along the highway, though I suppose it is....
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