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Treacherous Stressful Living

2/20/2021

AS I age I’ve become aware that I’m in danger of becoming one of those old-timers who go “Well, now, back in my day….” while the eyes of people trapped anywhere in the vicinity glaze the fuck over. I’ve always been especially and unfortunately fond of saying to my young trapped students, “You think it’s cold now? Ha! It snowed TWICE in Austin in 1985!”

But! Now it’s gone and snowed twice in College Station in 2021, so I have something more contemporary to bore people with.

The first snow was on January 10 and it was fun! It was slushy and soft, perfect for snowballs or snowpeople. I went for a couple of very pleasant walks.

(Found this on twitter. Don't know who made it, but I approve).

The second snow, just this last week, pretty much sucked. I just saw a blog post that said the storm was unexpected. Maybe—if you weren’t paying fucking attention. The weather models were showing something big two weeks out and they weren’t wrong. When the storm arrived Sunday night, it got cold first and then windy and then the snow came. I went for a quick walk just after midnight—the snow was dry and hard and gritty. Too cold to fluff up. Pretty as it blew swirling past the streetlights, but unlovable.

About 230am Monday, the power went out. This was also not unexpected, and I was ready with battery lamps and extra device chargers and pre-cooked food. The indoor temp by morning was down to the low-50s, but I could dress warm—and cold is a state of mind, anyway. (That’s an ancient Bud Grant reference).

By midday, the power came on and then started to cycle in and out, half-hour on, half-hour off, and stayed cycling that way throughout the week. On Wednesday a second wave of weather brought an ice storm, which I was too wise to venture out into (I’m still pissed at fucking Pittsburg State for not clearing ice off the goddamn sidewalks fuck you) but from my doorway looked grim and bleak. (Perhaps I was projecting my emotions onto the innocent ice). So I stayed inside and I did stuff in my power half-hours, ate and charged devices and whatnot, and then I could contentedly sit in the dark and read on my tablet.

So I had it pretty easy! The power situation was annoying but endurable. But the suffering elsewhere in the state is immense and ongoing. It's a Texas Chernobyl. The snow and the cold and the mid-week ice storm were natural events. But the power situation (and water situation, and sewage situation) are man-made, the result of crazy-ass libertarian anti-government sentiments that have dominated Texas since forever through gerrymandering and voter suppression and general fucked-upedness and ignorance. These people (I use that term loosely) don’t think there is any role for government in American society. This shit has got to stop.

Don’t mourn—thaw out and organize.

What would Lyndon Johnson do?

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Pandemic Status 18

2/20/2021

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Enough with the Roman numerals. Too complicated.

My covid vaccination was delayed due to the weather disaster. And—all indices are up due to the weather disaster.

Rage up the most. This is just bullshit.

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Treacherous Stressful Driving

2/13/2021

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So this was a day of hard driving. I had been up in the northwest corner of New Mexico, fishing the San Juan River, and was headed back to Austin and it was—icy.

Had about 100 miles of this heading down Hwy 550. Fortunately, there wasn’t much traffic—that school bus in front of me for a long time, a few other cars. At one crossroads there were two big dogs cavorting around having fun. The road got better south of Cuba and I drove along fine.

But then I made a mistake. I was heading south on I-25, and decided that I wanted to drive by the Trinity Site, more or less, so I headed east on 380 through the desert—and, yeah, the Trinity site was off there somewhere in the vastness, so that was cool. And I headed on east. But then the road past Carrizozo climbed up into the mountains. And there was fucking snow up in the mountains! And the sun went down and it was nighttime. Yikes!

So I drove on over the mountains in a snowstorm in the dark. I had a cassette of Prince’s Purple Rain playing, and I listened to it over and over, a steady nice rhythm as the wipers thudded across the windshield. I remember anticipating how stupid I would feel back at the bar explaining how I ended up in a goddamn ditch or worse—and that anticipation of shame kept me alert. Shame kept me alive!

And I did make it down out of the mountains to Roswell, where I got a motel and crashed hard.

The Austin ice storm of 1997. Another stressful day of driving.

I was driving the cab in those days, and I had a day shift beginning at 400am. So I made my way carefully downtown, and got my first ride at the (then) Marriott, taking a guy to the airport. On the way back from the airport I saw a Cadillac all up askew in the middle of someone’s yard, and a guy standing beside the car. He flagged me down.

“I ran off the road!” he said. “Can you give me a ride?”

“Sure,” I said.

The guy went back to the Caddy and pulled out a shotgun, a woman’s purse, and a 12-pack of Budweiser.

I guess I was looking at him somewhat skeptically.

“It’s my mother’s purse,” the guy explained.

I guess that made sense. We drove somewhere or other.

The guy asked me, “How come you’re not running off the road like everybody else?”

“Because I’m driving 15 miles an hour,” I said.

I was the only cab in central Austin for most of the day. You’d think I would’ve made a lot of money, right? But I didn’t, really. Because I could only drive 15 fucking miles an hour, and every trip took forever.

Oh well.

We are under a winter storm warning this weekend. Ice! Snow! Cold! I have an appointment to get my covid vaccine Tuesday, and, if I have to, I will endure more treacherous driving to not die. The rest of y’all need to stay home.

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Pandemic Status XVII

2/13/2021

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All indices up this week. Carryover insurrection Rage and unvaccinated Terror lead the way.

I hope to get a vaccine shot this week—perhaps Terror will decline a bit. But maybe not!

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I Answer Some Questions about Writing XII

2/6/2021

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The usual sage-on-a-page wisdoms and revelations. BYOQ....

I don't think they have to, but I like it when they do....
I really like, say, Oscar Casares's Brownsville. Stories connected by setting.
Sometimes you can get a novel-in-stories, where there is a connecting arc throughout the individual stories. (The kleptomaniac story we read a few weeks ago is the first "chapter" in Jennifer Egan's wonderful novel-in-stories A Visit from the Goon Squad).
But even when there is no overt connection, a story collection is still usually connected as a representation of whatever is going on in the writer's head at that given time....
Dictionaries and character listings would be a part of the text, and the writer would have control.
Maps? How good an artist is the author? if the map is important and the author is a good artist, they will use the author's map. If the map is important and the author is a lame artist (like me, say) the publisher will use a map and hire an artist to make it (and find a way to make the author pay for it).
(I love maps—I wish more students would use them!)
Authors have very little input on covers. Almost none. The books I edit, I discuss ideas with the writers, but the final decision is by me and the press.
For a previously unpublished writer? Complete. Done. Done and revised until it is as close to perfect as possible. (Close—all texts are flawed).
In the meantime, while you are completing and revising, try to get your shorter work published in journals. Maybe start sharing your work online....
I wrote my first book while working as a cab driver (I actually wrote it in the cab, between passengers). Cab driving is a hard way to make a meager living. I thought—Oh! I'll go to grad school and get an MA and maybe a teaching certificate and teach at a community college or a private school or wherever. And then on the first day of grad school I fell in love with it and decided that first week that I needed a PhD.
I'm very lucky.
I'm seeing these as three different things—needs, theme, life lesson.
Needs. Your character's needs are the holes in the character's heart. How is your character damaged? (Just about everyone in this world is damaged). What do they need to be happy? What are they doing to fill that hole? Look back at Monica in "Fight Like a Man"--what is she doing to fill the hole in her heart? You will learn about your character as you write, but you should be at least familiar with them when you start.
Theme. As you know by now, I am a big believer in outlines. But I also kind of think that you should, at the beginning, remain open and uncommitted on the theme of your story. A general idea is good, but you don't need more than that.
Let the theme emerge organically from the text.
How does that work?
Let’s say you’ve written a successful children’s book, and you want to write an adult story in the same world. You want to write—oh, a quest story. There’s this hobbit that has a magic ring and has to destroy it. The hobbit has to travel a long way—it’s going to be a big book! Okay. You make an outline hitting the important action/plot points along the way. And then you start writing. And as you write along, your themes emerge. You find that your story is about—friendship, and honor, and love, and loyalty, and duty. (And about your unacknowledged colonialist beliefs). And you keep writing. And the plot takes some turns you hadn’t expected. (You update your outline). And the friendships go deeper, and the love comes through, and there’s a layer of intense aching sadness over everything. And then—after four years of writing—you find what you’ve actually written a reflection of your own experience in World War One.
Life lesson. I would caution you a little about "life lessons." Many readers really really really resent heavy-handed "teaching" on the part of writers.
(I’m one of them).
Yep, I sure do. Tom Wolfe, especially, bears down on me. But he's sadly dead now and won't have any new books, so I guess I'm safe.
It's actually pretty common.
Some writers I know will only read things way outside their genre while working on a book—pulp detective stories or pulp science fiction. That seems like a lot of extra work, unless you like reading those things.
Better just to smooth it over when you do revision, like spackle.
(I've actually had students tell me that they don't read ANYTHING, for fear that they will be influenced. Please don't tell me this—I will be disappointed in you).
(Being influenced is good thing).
I guess it depends on what you mean by "success."
But the basic answer is—sure.
Example: My acquaintance XXX XXX is a critically acclaimed novelist and, sadly, their books don't sell enough for to make a living, so they work for the government.
And many, many writers teach.
And--day jobs are a good thing! Think—HEALTH INSURANCE.
The point of the story list we went over a few weeks ago is that any plot/theme can make for a good story—if it's written well.
So perhaps instead of focusing on a good idea, focus on a good character, an interesting setting, and strong beginnings and endings....?
Here are some "plots" from some of my stories:
woman fed up with her boyfriend
man returns home to find wife on drugs
man fired from his job
woman fired from her job
there’s a fish stuck in the toilet
man takes drugs, plays softball
man ignores wife’s (valid) complaints
Kind of boring, right? There is nothing at all exceptional about these "plots." Yet the stories are at least competent because of character and setting and language and they were published....
All your ideas have potential. You just have to find a way to use language to realize that potential....
Well, it's not just like you can just decide to do trad publishing—you have to sort of earn it. Get your name out there, publish in journals, etc.
Anyone can publish through Amazon. But are their books any good? Not just as a text—is the book as an object any good? Covers are especially hard for beginners/amateurs.
This is why I tell students (here I am telling you)—learn some skills. Learn at least the rudiments of Photoshop and InDesign. Get a website up, and a blog. Use twitter. Research book design. Etc.
And then learn some PR—even with trad publishing, you'll have to do much of your own promotion....
There's a lot to this book writing thing—but it's all things you can learn....
I'd have to see some examples, but—very generally--
A lot of the excessive telling I see comes in backstory info dumps. Solution—get rid of backstory. Most stories don't need it.
A lot of excessive telling comes in 3rd person interior dialogue. Solution—switch to 1st person, and the narrator can talk directly to the reader.
Very very generally: try staying in the story-present, focusing on action. (Dialogue is an action).
But, like everything else in life—it depends.
What are your goals as a writer? How much are you willing to work? Will you have to make sacrifices in your personal & professional life?
(I sort of answered this upthread...).
Yes, and I love it. I can disappear down a research tunnel like you wouldn't believe—especially photo archives.
I'm curious—I like knowing things!
Everything I learn has an impact on what I'm writing and on what I've already written. This is one of the purposes of revision....
(One of the purposed of education, too).
I'll repeat here something y'all are probably tired of me repeating—creative writers do research.
So, for mysteries. There is a series called Best American Mystery Stories. Comes out every year. Read the past 10 or so volumes and see what contemporary mystery writers are doing.
While you're reading those mysteries, start going through some newspaper archives and look for obscure, forgotten, and odd crime stories. Small and mid-sized towns are the best. I think Evans Library has a subscription to newspapers.com -- it is very helpful (a place, as per the previous thread, that I can get totally lost in).
And then start thinking about your characters and your setting. Even though plot is more important in mystery than in literary fiction, character and setting are still crucial....
Research research re-research.....
In the next section of the class we will be focusing on sharing your work....
So—social media, blogs. And then start submitting stories to journals.....
Research...general or specific....
I want to see what other people have done. (How can I improve on what they've done? How will my person experience make what they've done different?)....
Then I sit down and start visualizing my outline—and then I write the outline....
I think that just depends on what your personal values are. There's no wrong here—it's just a way of looking at language and looking at a career....
And you will almost surely think differently and writing as you age....
My advice: get good at something now. You can always try something new later....
Go around the wall.
Seriously.
Ideas are very hard to write, which is why I tell students to focus on characters. A character can always do something different and unexpected. They are not hemmed in by a concept.
Your story will succeed or fail based on the quality of the writing, not on the underlying idea or concept....
I'm always looking for new books, poems, stories. That said, I've been using Ordinary Genius and Brownsville for several years now--they're really good and get across the important writing things I want to get across. The stories in the first part of the semester get rotated around....
I grew up in a family of storytellers. It just seemed—natural—to try and take it another step and write....
The process is pretty basic—you send stuff out, and get rejected, and send it out again and again and again....until you hit.
It takes only one person to like your work--but it might take some time to find that person. You have to be persistent.
Right of passage? Sure. Validation is a good thing!
I think it's important to somehow make time to read. Even if it's only fifteen or twenty minutes before you go to sleep....
Yep. I have lots of journals and notebooks and I use them!
I have a daily planner, a daily diary—both of those are hardcopy—and my Pandemic Diary (on my computer)—I update those every day.
I have an evening diary and a dream diary—both hardcopy—I update those several times a week.
I have prose notebooks and a poetry notebook—all hardcopy—I update those as needed.
I have a pocket journal I use when I go out in the world, but it's been unused since the pandemic started....
I can write just about any place that doesn't cause me back pain. Right now—my recliner. I wrote my first novel, That Demon Life, in a taxicab...I wrote Normal School and Burnt House in bed...I wrote most of Professed in a coffee shop....
So—I'm flexible. Except for the back pain part.
In bed.
I came to poetry very late, as I think I said a couple of weeks ago. I was in my 40s...But I already knew how to write—how to make good sentences. So that part came quickly. And I had the great Adrian Matejka coaching me....
Authors that have a unique writing style...? Cormac McCarthy—go read The Road...Tom Wolfe—go read The Right Stuff...Megan Abbot—go read Dare Me.....
Contemporary writers? Megan Abbot (Dare Me) and Elizabeth Hand (Generation Loss) are terrific and I love their work...!!!!!!!!
Good ol Hemingway was the writer who changed my life....
Oh, yes—screenplays operate from a totally different paradigm than prose or poetry. And there are a lot of books on screenwriting.
And—indeed—you can be inspired by movies! I sure am. Go watch Sunset Blvd.....
ABSOLUTELY A SKILL THAT CAN BE LEARNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
None.
Because it's not the plot or the theme or the action that makes a story "original."
It's what's in my heart that makes a story original. It's the way I see the world that makes a story original. It's the way I render the world through language that makes the world original.
That's the whole point of this class. I want you—all of you—to encounter the world through the personal lens of your understanding.
You heart is original. Use it.

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Pandemic Status XVI

2/6/2021

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I got an appointment for a covid vaccine!

Yay!

Then my appointment got bumped back a week because of a (temporary, we all hope) vaccine shortage….

Boo!

But that’s not surprising, really. Vaccination is a gigantic national project that was started off stupid by the Trumpists, and even if it’s now on the correct trajectory, it’s bound to have to some stops along with the goes.

Still—State of Texas, hurry up and give me a shot!

Pandemic status? All indices—UP—Terror takes the lead....

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Ordinary Horrors

Treacherous Stressful Living

Pandemic Status 18

Treacherous Stressful Driving

Pandemic Status XVII

I Answer Some Questions about Writing XII

Pandemic Status XVI

Lowell Mick White

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